We have the never-ending opportunity to define ourselves by understanding, empathy, and unity. To be the land of the free and the home of the brave, so to say. To expand our minds to the possibilities that we aren’t always right nor are our counterparts always wrong. We seem to live in a world where division appears inevitable, the only common ground that can be seen at times is the disdain people hold for those who don’t think the same, live the same, behave the save, believe the same, vote the same, worship the same, etc.

A while back, I read a research study from Berkeley (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_americans_talk_about_their_history_without_false_antagonism?utm_source=Greater%20Good%20Science%20Center&utm_campaign=315c0e9b6d-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_GG_Newsletter_May_18_2023&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-315c0e9b6d-75569700&fbclid=IwAR3kOnRiboQxgj7g7yt2v64wvXmOQI957ibe7xHHbgC-wUXiNHP6r43I0C0) discussing how history is taught. What they found is that those who exist in the ideological extremes in this country make up only 14% of the adult population. The remaining 86% of the country tend to land somewhere closer to center. Yet, that is not what we see. We tend to believe that those who don’t think the same, live the same, behave the save, believe the same, vote the same, worship the same, etc. are much more extreme than they are. We have quite literally made-up imaginary enemies in our heads.

But why? How?

I recently attended a few separate events that had very different and specific attendees. Some conservative leaning, others liberal, and others more neutral. I was not intimidated or bothered by any of the groups. They were all full of fabulous people doing fabulous work. The only thing that I took strong note of was the contempt and almost outright hatred I heard and experienced as it related to those who didn’t side with the majority in the room. Hatred for our neighbors, our coworkers, our family. Maybe it’s always been commonplace to disregard any sense of individuality and mark everyone with a big X before even speaking to them, but for lack of a better word, yuck! I want to live in a better world than that. I want to raise my kiddo in a better world than that.

In today’s landscape, it’s easy to become entrapped in echo chambers that amplify our own perspectives while drowning out those of others. No two people agree on every topic fully. That is what makes our country beautiful. We don’t have to agree. We don’t have to be the same. So rather than the continuation of our made-up enemies, wouldn’t it be better to gather or connect in a way that bridges gaps, forges connections, decreases perception gaps, and transcends the division (which is much smaller than we think in reality)? I would love to see events, gatherings, conversations, dinners, political rallies, that break down these barriers, reminding us that beyond our affiliations (whatever they may be), we are all individuals with diverse experiences and believes. I would love to see gathering that offer crucial opportunities to exchange ideas, challenge assumptions, and find common ground that can lead to understanding and progress. I would love to see rallies where no one feels alienated because we are united in our common humanness, our common regard for each other, our common desire to make our country a better place for everyone.

Imagine the richness of discussion when labels are set aside, and the focus shifts to the issues themselves rather than the rigid ideologies that often obstruct compromise. Imagine the chance to reframe debates in terms of shared values, aspirations, and concerns, shifting from “us versus them” to “we’re in this together.” Imagine being able to contribute to a more harmonious society, being able to play a role in creating an environment where respectful dialogue can flourish, and where seeds of cooperation and empathy can take root. We need this. We all need this.

I would love to see us, as a country, challenge ourselves to step beyond the boundaries of our comfort zones and engage with perspectives that differ from our own, broadening our horizons but also paving the way for a future defined by collaboration, understanding, and progress. I would love to see us learn communication, de-escalation, and conflict resolution skills. It is our collective commitment to this dialogue, reminding us of our shared humanity, that will lead us toward a more united and peaceful world.

We need to realize that we can’t force others to conform to our beliefs.

We need to realize that no one changed their mind on a topic because you hated them and bullied them.

We need to realize that no one joined your church because you shamed them.

We need to realize that if freedom doesn’t apply to everyone, its just privilege.

We need to realize that we are all in this together, we are all trying our best to survive.

We need to realize that manifesting hate breeds hate, love breeds love, understanding breeds understanding.

We need to realize that the table is big enough for all of us.

The table is big enough for all of us!

Am I a hopeful optimist? Yes. Am I naïve? Maybe. Is this planet, the people, the future worth it? Big YES!